Blame It On The Night Job.

Something weird is afoot.

My reality is skewed with the real reality and it’s beginning to cause problems. My actions, which in the circumstance of the nightclub scene would be perfectly acceptable are seriously jeopardizing my ability to walk around black eye-free.

So, last night at Ted Drews, the girl in front of me had a SERIOUSLY twisted bra. I’m not talking a little askew. I mean, she invented new ways to twist your bra. Without even thinking about it, I asked if I could fix it for her. She looked at me like I was an alien race. In a nightclub, that would have been met with a “thank you” and  a flurry of giggles.

Later that night I was talking to my friend and mentioned that LMFAO was playing at the ReHydrate party at the Millennium Hotel. She looked at me and said “I don’t want that is.”

“It’s a band.” Silence. I was waiting for the obvious to sink in. “You know…the band.” More silence. “They do that song “Shots”.” Crickets chirping. “You know ‘Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots!’” Now, in a nightclub setting, or even an experienced club goer, you would smile immediately. This song literally makes you want to bounce.  But imagine never having heard the song and having someone tell you those are the lyrics. You see my point?

And finally LATE LATE LATE last night, in a small (large) drunken me-begging-an-ex-to-take-me-back session, (He turned me down.) I mentioned the party I went to on Saturday night and genuine surprise at the attitude I witnessed. I hadn’t realized this part of town was quite that, um, ghetto-chic. The words “I saw sooo much pussy poppin’” came slipping past my lips and was met with an astonished ex almost choking and asking exactly WHAT WAS “pussy poppin’”.

Yeah…try and explain pussy poppin’ to someone that has never seen it.

It’s strange… None of these events caused me a moment’s pause. They were all as natural as asking about the weather.  It’s only when I run across people outside of the nightclub circuit that I realize how much I’ve changed. I’m not saying I mind… I guess I’d rather know what pussy poppin’ is than not. And I too have bounced to “Shots”.

I just wish the ex would give me another chance. I fucking love that guy.